We’ve all dated people for the wrong reasons. These relationships almost never work because they are not built on the right foundation- which is a combination of genuine interest, trust, mutual respect and friendship.
I have this “friend” who dated a man because she thought he had a lot of money; needless to say things went horribly wrong. It was bad enough that the bastard made her spend her money but he was also extremely abusive- emotionally. That was his way of getting back at her.
The relationship didn’t last (of course) and although he was abusive and she feared for her life, she came out of it blaming herself for the damage more than she did him because she knew her intentions were wrong. I’m not a fan of sharing my “friends” personal stories; however I need to emphasize the point that we should only date people that we truly care about.
No one wants to know that their feelings are being toyed with; it makes them extremely angry and as we all know payback can be deadly. Whatever you do, never date for any of these superficial reasons -:
1. He is rich/famous or he has the potential to be rich/famous.
2. You want bi-racial babies or “dougla children”. Please, get it together!
3. He’s packing. Wellll… let’s just say he might be excellent in that area and that area ALONE!
4. You’ve been single for too long or you fear being alone forever. Before you date ensure that you are comfortable with being single.
5. You want a child. It’s better to go to a lab than to hook up with someone who has the potential to be a dead beat dad or worse try to take your child away from you.
6. He likes you and you don’t want to hurt his feeling. Which is more important his feelings (and trust me he is going to get over you sooner than you think) or your happiness? … Exactly!
7. Everyone thinks you’ll make a cute couple. Please tell everyone to mind their own business. You have to feel it.
8. Your child needs a father figure. Get a good friend to stand in. You do not want men walking in and out of your child’s life.
All the above reasons for dating are examples of ‘conditional love’ which is a long stretch from true love (unconditional love) since things like wealth and good looks have to be maintained in order for the “love” or “interest” to be present. You can always tell when you truly like someone or you do not in the initial stages, weigh the pros and cons. If the pros outweigh the cons, then go right ahead and before you know it the reasons you liked them in the first place become crystal clear.